Wed, 17 February 2016
A Beefed Up Reserve Force
General Mark Milley is calling for a larger reserve force amidst the cuts in active duty branches. After an additional 70,000 cuts from the active component, General Milley has determined that increasing the amount of training among Reserves and National Guard units would create a more combat ready force in the wake of events occurring in Europe.
A New Retirement Approach?
Spanish man, Joaquin Garcia, decided to retire by not showing up for work for 6 years. The confusion ensued when the local utility company Garcia worked for assumed that he fell under the Mayor's purview and the Mayor assumed the exact opposite.
Garcia managed to capitalize on this oversight by deciding not to come in for over 6 years while continuing to be paid for occupying his position. Eventually, Garcia would be found out when the water company attempted to award him for his 20 years of service and noticed that Garcia had not attended the ceremony.
A recent incident left a shark stranded in a fresh water pool which nearly killed him. Two children placed him in the pool in an attempt to save him, but he was later found by adults who released him back into the bay.
In more shark news, thousands of sharks were spotted migrating south off of the coast of Florida. A plane flying over was able to take video of the swarm of sharks swimming just off the coast line. Creepy.
Kanye West and Kim Jung Un
Mr. West has made the news again after having a mental breakdown backstage on the set of SNL. After complaining that the stage didn't suit his needs (he's an artist) he threatened to walk off. In more jack ass news, he also took to Twitter to beg Mark Zuckerberg to invest $1 Billion in more Kanye West ideas which apparently has already landed West $53 Million in debt. Seems like a sound investment to me.
Kim Jung Un has a new app! Not really, but a man in Houston created an emoji app with Kim Jong Un's face as a parody to Kim Kardashian's own emoji app.
Veterans Suicide Hotline Goes to Voicemail
At least 23 veterans, troops or family members were recently connected to a voicemail service when attempting to call the VA Suicide Crisis Hotline and their calls were never returned. The VA has apparently hired contractors to deal with the calls while operations are peaking and the civilian contractors have never been trained nor talked to about handling these sensitive situations.
A veteran in Tampa reported that he was even put on hold several times for over 10 minutes when he called the crisis hotline. This saddening ordeal really hits home for us and other veterans who have lost someone to suicide. Please, if you need someone to speak to, visit this website or reach out to us personally by messaging us on Facebook or emailing us at email@example.com. We will get back with you immediately.
We hope you enjoy the show and look forward to bringing you another soon.